In our beautiful millennial mind we decide where we should measure against others around our age and that determines the level of effort we need to put in to get "there". This is some mysterious place that exists to provide reason number 1,267 why we need to get on our ish and why this person is in a much better place in life than we currently are. It not only derails us from what we have already set in motion, it continues to shift our focus on goals that don't belong to us.
Adapting to the scholastic environment for umpteen years we have been conditioned to believe there is only one track, one journey to reach the success we all have worked so hard for. If you aren't done with school in exactly 4-5 years, bought a house, got married and started popping out babies by 30 you've done something wrong. Who lied to you, sis?! Even if you've checked off some or none at all - that doesn't mean you are less accomplished than those that have.
I'm going to make y'all laugh real quick. When I was 19 or 20 I told myself this is what I would have by 25:
Married or engaged
First kid by 26-27
Driving a Benz or BMW
I don’t know what perfect world I was living in - NONE have occurred and I am perfectly fine with that. I didn’t appreciate that spiritual and mental health also serve as a symbol of wealth, and the relationships I've built over the years cannot be bought with any amount of money. I was naïve, superficial and just completely oblivious to what’s really important in life.
If I listened to my younger self, I would've settled in a less than mediocre relationship and chose to accept struggles that weren't for me to overcome; all to keep a stupid and ridiculous timeline. By no means am I throwing shade (well, kinda) - I just understand the importance of embracing my own journey while not knocking someone else's for theirs. Don't allow what you perceive about others take control over your own actions. The best life you can live out fully is yours and yours only.
"Success has a different meaning for everyone and there is no way you will be able to define the success, or failure of someone else through your own lens."
Have you ever stopped to think, "Maybe I'm not fully prepared for this yet. Maybe I need to walk out my own process so whenever this breakthrough does happen for me, I'll be able to manage and handle it responsibly." Real life example: I want to leave my job soooo bad. Like to the point where I wanna walk in, flip them dusty cubes over and show the blackest part of my tail. BUT I cannot do that (the way this mortgage and these student loan payments are setup..) because I know I am where I am for a reason, and when God says it's time for me to transform from a wantrapreneur to an entrepreneur; I will. Have I wished to be my own boss like some of my other peers? Absolutely! On the other hand, I do not know the struggles they had to endure to get where they currently are. I don't know the depths of their sacrifices. I don't know the level of energy they have expelled (and continuously do) to create and maintain relationships in order to increase their business. I'm unaware of their many attempted fails that ultimately have led to their current successes.
Fight the urge of comparison:
They’re only showing you what they want to see anyway. Don't get caught in the hype. I don’t care who you are or what you have. Everybody struggles, b. Nobody can dispute me on this.
Being overly critical of yourself constantly isn't sowing the seeds you need in your life to move toward the next level. Any failures you have encountered (or will in the future) only attribute to your hustle. The accomplishments are ahead of you, don’t lose focus by talking yourself out of what you've been preparing for.
Are you putting in the amount of work required to get where you want to be? There is always room for improvement no matter what you've had the pleasure of checking off your to-do list.
I'm not telling you to strive to be the best, I'm telling you to soak up so much information so you become the best. There are so many resources that can give you a basic foundation to build your own platform of excellence.
Post them on your dresser, bathroom, desk at work to keep your vision at the forefront of your thoughts.
Consistently talk to Him about your wants, desires and frustrations. Ask Him for wisdom, guidance and the strength to endure the road ahead. Even when we don't notice, He will provide us with what we need at the exact moment we need it. A plant can't survive on little to no water, just like our relationship with God. Conversations are the water and the Word serves as the spiritual food. He doesn't just want to hear from us out of convenience or desperation, He desires to be incorporated in all aspects of our lives.
Make a conscious effort to count your blessings instead of burdens. Share a genuine excitement of life events with others - the same God that is blessing them has and will continue to bless you. There are over 7.28 billion people in the world and despite how many are on this Earth, He thoughtfully and carefully crafted you.
You are a rare find, one of one. Don’t live a life overlooking your abilities while uplifting someone else's. Got dealt a bad hand? We all can relate to that. Made some sub par decisions? We can also relate to that, but you setting your eyes on what you perceive someone else having does absolutely nothing for you. There are enough challenges in the world today - don’t let the curse of comparison overtake the dreams and aspirations that were specifically assigned to you go to waste.
"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." Galatians 6:4-5 MSG